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I am a normal guy!" But there didn't seem to bea lot of conviction to my words. I threw away all my girl clothes but thenbroke down and fetched them from the trash just before the garbage truckpulled to the curb.By now I had to resort to extreme measures to get myself excited.Sometimes I tried to imagine what it would be like to not have a penis. Itried tucking my penis between my legs and then looking in the mirror. Iliked what I saw. I thought, "Gee, I look pretty good without a big bulgedown there." Or maybe, if I'm as truthful as Dr. Retinar wants me to be,the thought was more like, "Maybe I don't really need a penis."The fact of the matter was that I was starting to get excited not bypulling and stroking my tool, but by imagining that I didn't have one tostroke. Weird thoughts just floated into my head. "Maybe I don't reallywant a penis."By now I could get a sexual high by just thinking these new thoughts whilepulling on my nipples or running my fingers over my thighs and. I sat down on the bed and motioned Lisbeth closer. "I need some time to think, and I need someone that is outside the situation to talk to. I'm going to go see my mom and dad. My mom has always been the best friend a girl could have, and I need her advice."Lisbeth had shiny eyes when she asked timidly, "Will you come back?"I hugged her and let her bawl. "Of course I will," I said. "This isn't about your mom or you; this is about me. What is it the kids say now? 'I need to wrap my head around the idea'?" You sure?" she asked."Positive," I replied.Two days later, I drove away after Charli left for work. It was Monday, the sun was shining, the cooler was full of ice and soft drinks, and I had a long journey ahead of me. I went west on I-94, past New Salem and toward Beach. I hoped to take that until I hit I-15 and then go south through Salt Lake City all the way to Phoenix.I stopped in Billings for the night, and after a shower and a nice steak I went into the motel bar for a nightcap..
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